Will Too Many Children Make the World Worse?

When I was a teenager, a friend of mine told me, “I’m not going to have children. There’s too much tragedy in life to willingly bring another person into this world.”

That was the first (but certainly not the last) time I heard such an argument against having children. It didn’t sit right with me, but I didn’t know why. That particular friend has since gone on to get married and have three children, and I am so glad.

But her comment so many years ago has stuck with me, and now Steve and Candice Watters have put words to my feelings about my friend’s sentiment.

Consider this excerpt from Start Your Family: 

The tragedy of our day is that in the face of our challenges, we not only worry about bringing children into the world, but we’re told that children will only make the world worse…

The great fear of our day is global warming and carbon emissions. In his article “Global Swarming,” Daniel Engber frets about “baby emissions,” writing, “We know that babies add more to global warming than anything else in our home. Isn’t it time to cut back?”

Children are seen only as a drain on Earth’s resources instead of as people who might one day solve our problems.

In a chapter titled “Hope,” the Watters go on to encourage Christian couples not to fear, but to have hope that God might use their children for good in this world. They compare modern day parents or would-be-parents to the parents of Moses and Jesus. Both sets of parents lived under infanticidal rulers, yet they had the courage to bring new life into the world.

In the Watters’ words:

Pharoah and Herod murdered children when they felt threatened, but God used courageous parents, parents willing to have babies who would bring salvation from those same murderers.

In our place in time, we don’t always recognize the power of a godly seed, but Satan does. He came “only to steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10). He wants us to see babies as a threat. He wants us to be fearful instead of fruitful. But we thwart his agenda when we cooperate with God to restore what has been lost, bring life, and create anew.

Life’s Greatest Challenge

Yesterday, I introduced you to a very counter-cultural book called Start Your Family, by Steve and Candice Watters.

I say “counter-cultural” because the prevailing trend these days is to get married later than past generations, and then to hold off on having children for several years or more past your marriage vows.

But the Watters’ have a different perspective, a perspective to which couples would be wise to lend an ear, lest they miss out completely on a great blessing.

In the foreword to the book, Kurt Bruner writes succinctly about the role of parenting in our spiritual formation:

“The Christian life is about conforming our lives to the image of Christ; to mature beyond a lump of self-centered sinfulness to an icon of self-sacrificial sainthood. What, in my view, is the most direct and intentional path to that end? In a word, parenthood.

“No other experience in life frees us from the downword spiral [of] self-centered existence. Nothing more effectively forces us to discover what Jesus meant when He said those who seek to find their lives must lose it.

“Maybe that is the unspoken reason many in our generation de-couple marriage and parenthood. We want the companionship and mutual support of a loving spouse. But the prospect of dialing down a promising career, trading a coupe for a minivan, or buying diapers rather than Starbucks is too much to ask of ourselves. Or is it?

“Avoiding life’s greatest challenge might become this generation’s greatest regret.”

 

Should you wait to have children?

Have you, or someone you love, ever said, “We want to enjoy marriage for a few years before having children”? Or how about, “We need to finish grad school and pay off our school debt before having kids”?

These are just two of the many common reasons married couples give for delaying parenthood.

No one had to persuade Ken and me to have a baby (and another, and now another). From the time we decided to get married, children were part of the plan, and soon.

And yet, we would not have been able to give you any fancy reasoning. We just knew that children were a blessing from the Lord and that children would enrich our marriage and our lives. And that was enough reason for us.

But that is not the case for everyone. It is much more common for couples to delay parenthood. And many are looking for solid reasons why they should dive into family life at all.

Steve and Candice Watters, in their book Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies, make a strong and biblical case for having children as soon as possible. And though their message is as old as time, nowadays you are unlikely to hear this message virtually anywhere else.

If you are looking for guidance on this issue, if you have never heard encouragement to have children young, or you are just plain curious how someone would argue for starting a family early in marriage, I highly recommend this book.

As the Watters’ say, ”There are a thousand reasons not to have a baby. But in deciding against children, or even in just deciding to wait a little longer, you risk missing out on a miracle, a larger-than-life, inexpressible joy.”

Look for some more quotes from the Watters’ in coming days!

Schmidt Happenings

I’ve been sick for nearly two months.

The first hour or two after I wake up in the morning, I feel pretty much okay. But then it’s downhill from there.

I carry soda crackers and beef sticks in my purse.

I’ve felt weak, tired, out of breath, and nauseated constantly.

For the first time in 6 years, I’ve left clean laundry sitting unfolded in a basket for three days.

I’ve put off everything I possibly can so I can take naps.

I’m driving my husband crazy.

And the reason for all this? Schmidt baby #3 is on the way! And that is great news!

The other good news is that, two days ago, I started to feel a bit better. That means it’s time to get off the couch, start living life again, and start getting ready for this new addition to our family!

Creator of all, you are creating new life inside me. In your perfect craftsmanship, timing, and wisdom, knit this child together exactly as you desire him or her to be. Thank you for the blessing of children.

Just For Fun: The Things They Say!

With little kids, the laughs just never stop. Here a few gems from the last couple weeks:

 

Before leaving on a family road trip, I asked Calvin, “What about our trip is the most exciting to you?”

Calvin answered, “Can we call it an ‘expedition’?”

 

When Calvin saw his cousins this morning, he said, “Hey you stinker-bottoms. Are you ready to have some fun?”

 

Calvin and I climbed together to the top of a long slide at an indoor climbing gym today. Before heading down the slide, Calvin turned back to me and said soberly, “Have a nice life, Mom.”

 

My Dad (who my kids call “Bop”) was trying to make his way to the ringing telephone and had to weave through four happy grandkids playing in the hallway. “Excuse me, guys. Excuse me!” he said. Teddy promptly responded, “You tooted.” (For the record, Bop had not tooted. Teddy just thinks bodily functions are the only thing you ask to be excused for!)

Greenism, The Religion

My husband Ken preached yesterday from Colossians 2:6-16. He really made me think!

Colossians 2:8 says, “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.”

One of the “hollow and deceptive philosophies” Ken warned us about is environmentalism. (This was a minor part of Ken’s message, but my brain is stuck on it!) It was courageous of Ken to say that from the pulpit, since “going green” is hallowed ground in modern times.

Ken actually called environmentalism a religion. And that is so true! Think about it. Going Green is the new morality. People judge themselves and others on how environmentally friendly they are. If you have a smaller carbon footprint, you are good. A bigger carbon footprint, you are bad.

Deep thoughts. What do you think?

Lord of all creation, show me how to tend and care for your creation in a way that brings you honor, glory and praise. May nature, or the care of nature, never be for me an idol, but rather an object lesson that points me to your splendor and majesty.

A Book For Single Women

The book I read two weeks ago disturbed my husband.

Whenever he would glance at my nightstand, he would say something like, “I hope I shouldn’t be worried that my wife is reading a book called Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?”

No, Ken has no reason to worry. I was reading to be informed and equipped to minister to single women. The full title is Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred. This book by Carolyn McCulley is written for single women who desire to be married.

Through most of the book, McCulley looks at the commendations of the Proverbs 31 woman, showing how these character qualities can be lived out in the life of an unmarried woman.

The Proverbs 31 woman brings her husband “good, not harm,” “provides food for her family,” and nurtures her children. Curious how this applies to singles?

In a beautifully transparent, heart-baring way, McCulley draws on her own lessons of prolonged singleness, and shows that biblical womanhood is God’s model for all Christian women, not just wives.

Sovereign God, help me to be a fountain of life and encouragement to the single women in my life. Give them the insight and courage to live out their femininity, for your glory, as they trust you through their singleness.

 

Speaking of Hospitality…

If you are looking for some good resources on hospitality, I have two recommendations.

The first is A Life That Says Welcome by Karen Ehman. You can find a review of the book at my old blog, Cookbooks & Commentaries.

 Another book well worth the read is Simple Hospitality by Jane Jarrell. This book is full of ideas, recipes, and wise advice to create a welcoming haven in your home.

And if perhaps you are thinking hospitality is not your thing, please reconsider. You might think you don’t have a gift of hospitality. Or perhaps you think your home is too small, or you don’t open your doors to others because you are behind with housework.

But hospitality is not just for those gifted at it, or just for those with showcase homes. The New Testament commands believers more than once to practice hospitality~

Romans 12:13 says, “Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”

1 Peter 4:9 says, “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.”

Beyond specific commands, both the old and new testaments are full of examples where faithful people are commended for extending hospitality.

So read some good resources, seek out a mentor if necessary, and start opening your door to others!

Privilege of Hospitality

I have all but fallen off the blogosphere for the past two weeks.

In lieu of any writing, I have spent time with guests! We hosted my parents for eight days, followed by one of my best friends for five days.

It has been a joy to host these loved ones. I’ve had lots of long talks, a couple games of Crazy Rook, help on house projects, childcare, and opportunities to play tour guide around our city. Fun!

As I seek to grow in my skill of making guests feel welcome and wanted, God has been challenging me in one particular area of hospitality: preparation.

You know how it goes when house guests are coming. You want to get the house looking nice, the laundry done, maybe get your chores and errands out of the way, the mail answered, and perhaps prepare some food in advance. And none of that is bad.

However, too often I create unrealistic to-do lists, give myself little grace and even less slack time, and begin to get snappy with the people I should most want welcomed in my home: my husband and children. Pretty soon, I’m begrudging that work of preparation. And so are the other members of my household!

I may be preparing my home for company, but I’m not preparing my heart.

So I’ve begun asking myself this question:

If my guests could see the thoughts and attitudes of my heart as I prepare for their arrival, would they still feel welcome and wanted?

Challenging question, don’t you think? No matter how beloved the guests, the temptation is always there to begrudge the labor of hospitality.

Lord God, continue to refine me in this area. Continue to fill our house with guests, and may they feel welcome and wanted. Help me to prepare with grace, with consideration for those around me, with a prayerful heart.

Words, Words, Words

How many times have I said something that I wish I could take back? More than I can count.

But words spoken are like seeds scattered by the wind; they cannot be gathered up again.

Psalm 141:3 says, “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

I’m prone to complain, to gossip, to slander, to cast others in a bad light to make myself feel better. I desperately need the Lord to be gatekeeper of my mouth!

But I also need him to be Lord of my heart, for “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). The words I speak show what is in my heart; if my heart is full of bitterness, complaints, curses, or selfishness, sooner or later it will show by my speech.

On the contrary, if my heart is full with memorized scripture, with thinking the best of others, with dwelling on what is true, noble, right, and pure, I will have something edifying to say to others. My heart will overflow with beneficial speech.

Lord God, may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. May I speak with wisdom, and may faithful instruction be on my tongue.